In 2015, I started my therapy journey and am currently engaging in my third modality. I started with traditional talk therapy, which focuses on the exploration of thoughts, emotions, and behaviours. This type of therapy helps clients process experiences, develop and strengthen coping skills, and work through mental health challenges. Some of the biggest takeaways from talk therapy are increased self-reflection, insight, and an awareness of solutions over problems.
Once I felt I had a good handle on my daily experiences and challenges, I sought out a therapist who specialized in cognitive behaviour therapy (CBT). CBT helps clients identify, challenge, and reframe negative thought patterns and behaviours that stem from core beliefs. A big part of this therapy model is personal homework and requires commitment from the client to practice skills and document learnings between sessions.
Today, I am working with an EMDR therapist. It is important to highlight that my therapy journey has had its ups and downs. I may have started in 2015, but I have taken time off in between as I started and ended some sessions based on not being ready. I have been in EMDR therapy for almost three years now, and it has made a huge difference in my life. I put it off for the longest time due to fear of not knowing the impact EMDR would have on myself. And if I am being honest, not truly understanding what EMDR was.
EMDR Therapy Explained: What is it Really?
EMDR stands for eye movement desensitization and reprocessing. When I first researched EMDR, I didn’t understand a thing I was reading and became overwhelmed with the big clinical language. After my initial reading, I only understood EMDR as a form of therapy focused on post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) and was a practice commonly used with Veterans. I finally gave up on Google and reached out to a friend who is a trained therapist in EMDR. She was patient in explaining the process and broke down those clinical words for me. She was able to share what a session would look like, and then supported me with connecting with the therapist I currently have now.
From my personal experience, I can share that EMDR focuses on reprocessing traumatic events in your past while stimulation is delivered alternatively between the left and right side of your body. This may include eye movement, following your therapist's finger back and forth; auditory, using headphones to play alternating tones from left to right; or tactile stimulation, tapping hands on knees or another part of the body.
In sessions with the help of your therapist, you will identify and set up a “target”, which is a memory network to process. Once identified, you will share associations with the target, including emotions, the image and the sensations you felt during that movement or event that caused trauma. You will highlight the distress level of this memory and the negative cognition (thought) attached to this memory. Once you have processed the memory, you will then be able to pair it with a positive belief, so the memory no longer holds negative beliefs. The number of sessions it takes to process these memories can differ from the level of distress of the memory and how you process things. There is no magic number, mine can take from 3 to 5 sessions to clear one target and then one session to pair the memory to the positive belief and close the network. I know - it can sound intimidating so it is incredibly important to feel safe with your therapist as the process requires trust.
If you resonate with difficulties trusting or feel you still need more information before you can jump in, below I have shared some fears I experienced at the start of my healing journey. It took me a while to overcome the fear of the illusion of what I thought EMDR was and this required work on my part to work through these doubts. I hope by sharing my experiences, you can join my bravery in working through yours.
Fears I Held About EMDR
1. EMDR is only for people with PTSD
I held strong beliefs that EMDR was only for people with PTSD or more severe trauma then what I classified my trauma as. I had this idea that my trauma wasn’t “big enough” for me to explore it through EMDR. Once I had my consultation, I explained some of the things I was struggling to process and move past, my therapist validated that my trauma was trauma, and it was appropriate to try EMDR therapy. You deserve to heal and if you think EMDR is a type of therapy you want to engage in, book a consultation as your first step to learn, explore, and be curious.
2. EMDR sounds like hypnosis
I promise it isn’t hypnosis. You stay in reality the whole time, you just step one foot into the memory and keep one foot grounded. My therapist explains it as traveling on a train; I am on the train and I am watching the memory pass by. There can be moments when you need to stop because you are beginning to dissociate. Instead of leaning into fear, trust that the therapist is well trained to support you through this process. The first time this happened to me, it was scary but my therapist gave me the resources I needed to come back into my window of tolerance.
3. EMDR will make me relive all my memories I worked hard to block
EMDR is different than a flashback and a trigger. The difference is you are in control of how much you remember, what memory networks you go into, and when you close that memory network. Your therapist will give you many resources to support your triggers. One of these resources is called containment, it’s either a visual or a physical act of placing the thoughts, memories or emotions into a box to keep it closed till you are back in session with your therapist. While you are building trust with your therapist you will work together to strengthen these resources and eventually you will begin to see how it works. There are many resources attached to EMDR that your therapist will teach you. It’s not about remembering, it's about processing.
4. EMDR will uncover the stuck memories that are black in my mind
This can happen depending on the memory network you are working through. I have had one memory unravel from the darkness and present itself during my experience with EMDR. I have been in EMDR for almost three years and I have had only one memory come back. I would say you need to trust your brain; my brain knew I was in a place that I could hold this memory without sinking again. It also was a memory that closed a space I didn’t know was still holding so much control over my negative thoughts. It was necessary, but not harmful to me.
5. I already did CBT so I don’t need EMDR
EMDR is a different form of therapy and provides different support to the healing journey. I have completed CBT therapy and am still working through EMDR. I have to say from my experience if I didn’t go through CBT therapy before EMDR, I don’t think I would have been as successful as I am now. I needed to learn how to reframe negative thoughts in order to utilize the resources in EMDR. Please note I am not suggesting you need to do one type of therapy before the other, just know that your experience is unique and you can benefit from completing different types of therapy based on your goals and needs.
I hope this provides some answers that you may have had about EMDR. When you are ready to take that step to book a consultation, just remember that even though it may be intimidating, it can truly support your healing journey. I have seen a big difference in my own growth through accessing EMDR for my personal healing.
If you're ready to explore EMDR therapy, connect with Bold Lotus Trauma Therapy for compassionate and professional support on your path to healing. Your trauma is real and you matter!