I don’t know about you, but every January, I dread the inevitable question: “What are your New Year’s resolutions?” It feels like society pressures us to come up with something we need to start or stop doing. Even when we frame these resolutions positively—like, “I will prioritize self-care this year”—it often stems from a place of self-criticism. Instead of giving ourselves grace or celebrating what we’ve accomplished, we tend to focus on our flaws or unmet goals.
Even if the past year was the hardest of your life, instead of closing that chapter with compassion, we pile on more pressure by setting “goals” to motivate us in the coming year. But let me ask you: How many of you actually accomplish those resolutions and then take the time to celebrate? If your answer is a resounding, “Nope", like mine, you might enjoy the approach I’ve adopted for setting my intentions for 2025.
First, a quick disclosure: I don’t celebrate the new year on January 1. My birthday is January 17, and I’ve decided that’s my “new year.” It’s a perfect day to reflect on who I am, celebrate what I’ve accomplished, and carry forward the lessons I’ve learned. For this post, though, let’s stick with January 1 as the traditional start of the year—but if you have a January birthday, I highly recommend embracing this birthday-as-new-year idea!
Now, imagine waking up on New Year’s Day motivated and determined to make this year the best yet. Then the thoughts creep in: “What’s my resolution?” Often, this is the moment we start reflecting on everything we didn’t accomplish or everything we think we need to fix.
Stop right there.
Instead of dwelling on shortcomings, let’s take a moment to remember the good. Reflect on the lessons you learned and the milestones you reached, no matter how big or small. Take a moment to feel proud of yourself.
For me, this starts with journaling. I write down my accomplishments and lessons learned, and then, in big bold letters (usually with a pink pen), I write: “I am proud of you.”
Now, some of you might be rolling your eyes and thinking, “Yeah, right. Not every year is great.” And you’re absolutely right. Some years, all I’ve managed is keeping a roof over my head, driving the same car, being a mom, and simply surviving. But even if that’s all I write in my journal, I still end with “I am proud of you.” That simple affirmation shifts my outlook. Instead of focusing on what went wrong, I choose to see my strength. There’s plenty of time in the year to overthink—why start the year with negativity?
Once you’ve reflected, renewed your confidence, and reminded yourself of your worth, it’s time to dream. Instead of setting rigid resolutions, I create a bucket list. If you’ve never made one, don’t worry—I’ll walk you through it.
For me, a bucket list isn’t limited to one year. I keep an ongoing list that I revisit and expand at the start of every year. The beauty of a bucket list is there are no rules. You can make it as big or small, creative or simple, as you want. You can keep it private or share it with others. Whether you create a bucket list for the month, the year, or your whole life, it’s entirely up to you. Personally, I add everything from trying a new Starbucks drink to swimming with Great White sharks. No dream is too big or too small.
If a long list overwhelms you, start small. At the beginning of each year, I recommend adding at least 10 items—goals, dreams, or adventures—to your list. Keep it somewhere accessible so you can add to it whenever inspiration strikes.
5 Steps to Create a Bucket List
Create a calming environment. Light a candle, make a warm drink, and get into “dreamer mode.”
Prepare your tools. Whether it’s a journal or a digital document, have everything ready so you can stay focused. If you’re using a device, put it on “Do Not Disturb.”
Title your list. Write “Bucket List” at the top with your favourite pen or in a fun colour.
Dream big and small. Write down every adventure, experience, or goal you’ve ever wanted.
Know when to stop. You’ll feel it when you look at your list and smile with excitement.
Pro tip: If you’re stuck, don’t hesitate to Google ideas to spark your creativity. This process should be fun, not stressful!
At the end of the year, if you haven’t accomplished much (or anything) from your list, resist the urge to feel ashamed. Instead, remind yourself: “I am proud of you.” A bucket list isn’t about deadlines—it’s about dreaming and moving toward the life you want.
So, the next time someone asks, “What’s your New Year’s resolution?” you can confidently reply, “I created a bucket list instead. I’m choosing to dream rather than focus on the negative.”
And remember: we are proud of you and if you find yourself stuck or in need of someone to chat things through with, Bold Lotus Trauma Therapy is here to help. Click the link below to book a free consultation to see if we're the right fit for you.